Squirrels and moles

What is more irritating?  Moles in my garden or squirrels on the bird feeder?  Equal PIA’s in my opinion! 

Should I buy (very expensive) mole bait, or go the ‘natural’ route, and pour castrol oil down their tunnels? Of course there’s the Caddy Shack way, dynamite! Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!  Ok, I’ll try the oil in the tunnel route.  How does one find the tunnels? Very easily, just walk, or try walking, across the yard. As soon as you sink down towards China, start pouring the oil in the sinkhole. You can’t miss finding the tunnels, the little buggers have a highway system equal to the one in New York City.   You know, if I do eliminate my first ‘pesky’ problem, I’d rob the neighbors of my daily ‘rain dance’ routine, the one where I do a side-stepping shuffle back and forth across the lawn.  (I like to add ‘chanting’ with my routine)

On to the next PIA.  The squirrels!  They are REALLY SMART!  Are they smarter than I am?  I’m not sure, but I will discover a way of keeping them out of the bird feeder!  (When I do, I’ll let you in on the secret!)  Of course, I’d once again disappointment my neighbors by NOT rushing out the back door periodically, arms flailing, shouting and proceeding to chase the squirrels away from the feeder.  I do believe the squirrels would also miss this routine; they scamper to the branch above the hanging bird feeder, and sit and stare at me.  I KNOW they’re laughing! Just you wait, I’m goin’ to get’em